photo by The Goodness

Two years ago, my husband and I got all gussied up and made public vows and declarations of our commitment to each other in front of our family and friends. (i.e. we got ourselves hitched to each other)

Throughout the wedding planning process, the two questions that come up over and over: 1. How did you meet? 2. How did he propose?

The first question was easy; we met in college.

The second question… well, see, the thing is… he didn’t.

Let me expand… My husband and I met when we were in college. By the time college ended, we knew we wanted to get married someday, but we weren’t quite at that “someday” yet. We still had things to accomplish and had an idea that “someday” was several years down the road.

When “someday” seemed to be a bit closer, we talked about buying a ring (price ranges, styles, etc). And we agreed that if he was going to spend a sum of money and if I was going to wear it everyday, that I should get to pick it out. (It’s only practical, of course) The common TV trope is that the husband-to-be will magically determine the wife-to-be’s tastes and wishes and desires and select the perfect ring. That wasn’t our style; life has too many tests already.

So what did we end up doing? We went to the jewelry store together. I tried some rings on. We picked one we both liked. He paid. (Yes, I knew how much it cost.) It got ordered and shipped to us. And then I just started wearing it.

photo by The Goodness

No announcement. No fanfare. Just like we like it.

Sometimes I hear about other proposal stories and it baffles me that people are shocked and surprised when their long-term significant others propose. Like, if you’re at the stage in your relationship where marriage is in the foreseeable future, shouldn’t this have been discussed?

Our engagement and decision to get married was not a test of romantic skill. It was not a surprise. I knew (and he knew) it was coming. It was a joint decision between two people who love each other and communicate well. And I think that’s pretty awesome.

Here’s to two years of being officially married. And to the rest of our lives making joint decisions and communicating openly.

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